A Fun Little Quiz

1. What is the meaning of distal occlusion?

  1. there’s a dangerous blockage in the IV line
  2. the patient’s elbow is bent
  3. the patient’s blankets are on top of the IV tubing

2. How many of my visitors thought that a book of logic puzzles would be the perfect gift to help me occupy my time?

  1. One of them
  2. Two of them
  3. All of them
  4. None of them

3. What is a good response when a patient’s IV alarm goes off repeatedly?  Which choice did my nurses make?

  1. Ignore it.  It doesn’t really matter how much of that stuff patients get.
  2. Discover the cause and fix the problem.

4. How long does it take for a nurse to ignore hospital policy and teach a patient when and how to reset the IV pump?

  1. one hour after inserting the IV
  2. five hours after inserting the IV
  3. fifteen minutes into the second shift with that patient and the alarm is still an issue

5. How long does it take for a CNA to ignore hospital policy and give a patient pen & paper, and request that the patient empty their own hat as needed and just keep track of the volume?

  1. one day
  2. two days
  3. five days

6. What is the best way to have the nurses check on you and make sure you’re okay?

  1. Snap at them about their idiotic, inefficient procedures first thing when they meet you
  2. Have pizza delivered for them
  3. It doesn’t matter; they’ll treat everyone the same

    (If you chose #3, wrong. Try again.)

7. You are given three meal trays.  Based on their contents, identify which meal is breakfast, which meal is lunch, and which one is dinner:

  1. Chicken broth, black tea, green jello, grape juice, apple flavored Ensure
  2. Chicken broth, black tea, red jello, cranberry juice, orange popsicle
  3. Beef broth, black tea, green jello, apple juice

8. What are the odds of four doctors convincing me to have my gallbladder removed?

  1. 100% – nobody needs a gallbladder
  2. 0% – nobody should ever have surgery
  3. Slim – less invasive treatments should be tried first
  4. Better with major advancements in rheumatology:

GI cleared me to go home.
Now waiting on my family physician, who is waiting on my rheumatologist.
Maybe by tonight!

7 thoughts on “A Fun Little Quiz

  1. Lessee…
    1:1; 2:3; 3:1; 4:1; 5:1; 6:2; 7:3;2,1; 8:3.

    I hope you’re home and tucked in comfortably at home by now, Socks. Sending hugs… 😉

  2. You are so funny! Reminds me of my last hospital visit. Except on my hospital food tray I marked down VEGAN and received beef broth, jello, and milk. Then was told the kitchen was closed! I sure hope you are home and in your own bed. Best to you.

  3. 🙂 Thank you. I am home and very happy to be here.
    I was warned that I’d be more tired than I expected, but that warning was a huge underestimation of how little energy I have. What surprized me is that I’m so dizzy. Guess I’m not driving anywhere until that goes away.

    Quiz Answers
    1. 1,2, & 3 all are possibilities, but they never believe it’s #1
    2. 3
    3a. 2
    3b. 1
    4. 3
    5. 3
    6. 2 – if you’re ever in the hospital, have enough pizza or donuts or something delivered for the nurses (and others) to eat. They will be amazingly appreciative, and much more attentive to you.
    7. 1=breakfast, 2=dinner, 3=lunch 🙂
    8. 3&4

  4. The thing about the pizza is true. That is one reason I always bring cookies for the nurses whenever I am in the hospital (if it is planned, obviously I couldn’t if it was an unexpected stay).

    I hope you are feeling lots better very soon. What a pain. Literally!

  5. Wow! I wonder if this strategy of buttering up (or doughnutting up or pizzaing up) the nurses would work here? Suspect nothing much would work here as they’re so over-worked they don’t know if they’re coming or going, there’s no one to deliver dougnuts and by the time the pizza delivery guy fought his way through the barage of reception and security to the right ward (if he ever did) the pizza would be cold! (Chances are the pizza would get eaten in reception though and never see a nurse!)

    Very glad you’re home and hope you’re feeling much better!

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