A Fun Little Quiz

1. What is the meaning of distal occlusion?

  1. there’s a dangerous blockage in the IV line
  2. the patient’s elbow is bent
  3. the patient’s blankets are on top of the IV tubing

2. How many of my visitors thought that a book of logic puzzles would be the perfect gift to help me occupy my time?

  1. One of them
  2. Two of them
  3. All of them
  4. None of them

3. What is a good response when a patient’s IV alarm goes off repeatedly?  Which choice did my nurses make?

  1. Ignore it.  It doesn’t really matter how much of that stuff patients get.
  2. Discover the cause and fix the problem.

4. How long does it take for a nurse to ignore hospital policy and teach a patient when and how to reset the IV pump?

  1. one hour after inserting the IV
  2. five hours after inserting the IV
  3. fifteen minutes into the second shift with that patient and the alarm is still an issue

5. How long does it take for a CNA to ignore hospital policy and give a patient pen & paper, and request that the patient empty their own hat as needed and just keep track of the volume?

  1. one day
  2. two days
  3. five days

6. What is the best way to have the nurses check on you and make sure you’re okay?

  1. Snap at them about their idiotic, inefficient procedures first thing when they meet you
  2. Have pizza delivered for them
  3. It doesn’t matter; they’ll treat everyone the same

    (If you chose #3, wrong. Try again.)

7. You are given three meal trays.  Based on their contents, identify which meal is breakfast, which meal is lunch, and which one is dinner:

  1. Chicken broth, black tea, green jello, grape juice, apple flavored Ensure
  2. Chicken broth, black tea, red jello, cranberry juice, orange popsicle
  3. Beef broth, black tea, green jello, apple juice

8. What are the odds of four doctors convincing me to have my gallbladder removed?

  1. 100% – nobody needs a gallbladder
  2. 0% – nobody should ever have surgery
  3. Slim – less invasive treatments should be tried first
  4. Better with major advancements in rheumatology:

GI cleared me to go home.
Now waiting on my family physician, who is waiting on my rheumatologist.
Maybe by tonight!